How to Handle Tough Family Conversations with Care and Clarity

Ho ho ho, it’s that time that often tests relationships when differing views and values colide in the spirit of having a jolly good time.

Want a tool to navigate this?

During the Climate Change Coaches (B-Corp) course, we worked on planning for resistance in relationships.

During the practical activity, I used an example of a conversation with a family member where we clashed around differing views on non-gender identity and sex changes.

I was thinking this is also a useful tool also for Xmas family times, so what to do in preparation for those converstions and the examples from my conversation:

With this in mind, then consider yourself:

1. 💭 What do you need to feel and think? (Both parties entitled to a view)
2. 👀 In our r’ship what will I see and hear? (The fear and concern behind the comments)
3. 😐 What will I say I need and want? (For my views to be heard)
4. 🗣️ What do I want to say and do? (Acknoledge them by parphrasing and acknowledging their point of view and their experiences)

Draw 3 circles as per the slide with them, you and the relationship in

Around THEM, answer what THEY:

1. 💭 Think and feel e.g. (scared of change)
2. 👀 See and hear e.g. (parents they have spoken to who’s children have had sex-changes, right-wing media)
3. 😐 Need and want e.g. To be heard (possibly to be agreed with)
4. 🗣️ Say and do e.g. (its not relevant to them, don’t want to discuss it)

Next, ideally standing up, look down at the relationship and write down:

1. What does the relationship feel like? (Strained)
2. What does it need? (Each person to be heard and feel heard)
3. What does the relationship know that the people don’t? (Both person wants to be accepted and respected for their point of views)